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      人丑穿什么都沒用

      來源: 作者:

      人丑穿什么都沒用

      女:老公,給我買幾件衣服吧!衣服都舊了。

      男:舊怕什么,人漂亮穿什么都好看!

      女:那人家不是丑嘛。

      男:那就更不用買了,人丑穿什么都沒用!

      你的牌打得也忒好了

      甲:你手機斗地主一直輸,是什么原因讓你堅持下去的?

      乙:因為隊友一直鼓勵我。

      甲:怎么鼓勵的?

      乙:你的牌打得也忒好了!

      甲:……

      加個寶貝行不

      忙完一天,給女朋友打電話:“下班我騎我新買的摩托車帶你去玩好嗎?”女朋友矯情地回答:“你說這些話時就不能加個‘寶貝嗎?真是一點也沒有情趣。”

      我馬上改口道:“下班我騎我的寶貝摩托帶你去玩好嗎?”

      有兩種可能

      媽媽回來見只有小胖一個人坐在火爐旁,就問:“你哥呢?”

      小胖:“兩種可能,如果冰厚,他在滑冰;如果冰薄,他在游泳。”

      今兒不是你生日嘛

      在外地上學時,有次生日時給老爸打電話,他說:“我們跟你姑他們一家子聚餐吃火鍋呢!”我問為什么,老爸說:“今兒不是你生日嘛。”

      我們都離婚幾年了

      女:喂!老公,我的鑰匙在哪兒?

      男:你看一下化妝臺上有沒有?

      女:看到了,在化妝臺上。老公,我手機不知放哪兒了。

      男:你不是在用手機給我打電話嗎?

      女:哦!是的,我這記性太差了。

      男:你記性是太差了,你忘了我們都離婚好幾年了。

      你果然沒有騙我

      異地戀,男孩說,還有81天他就回來了,還給女友買了81種零食,說:“你每天吃一種,吃完了我就回來了。”

      男孩為給女孩一個驚喜,第三天就回來了。女孩哭著說:“你果然沒有騙我,我剛吃完你就回來了……”

      剎車壞了

      記者圍住汽車大賽冠軍問:“你每次參加比賽成績都很一般,這次一舉奪得冠軍,請問有什么秘訣?”

      車手哆嗦著說:“我……我的剎車壞了!”

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