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      [故事大全] [手機訪問]

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      當前位置: 首頁 > 經典語錄 > 

      如果這些大師還在,就沒段子手什么事兒了

      來源: 作者:

        蕭伯納    

      英國現代杰出的現實主義戲劇作家蕭伯納,被譽為“世界著名的擅長幽默與諷刺的語言大師”。有一次,蕭伯納在街上行走,被一個冒失鬼騎車撞倒在地上,幸好并無大礙。肇事者急忙扶起他,連聲抱歉?!   ?/p>

      蕭伯納拍拍屁股詼諧地說:“你的運氣真不好,先生,如果你把我撞死了,就可以名揚四海了。”    

      魯迅    

      生活中的魯迅是一個全身被幽默感充斥著的人。在廈門大學教書時,魯迅先生曾到一家理發店理發?!   ?/p>

      理發師見他衣著簡樸,心想他肯定沒幾個錢,理發時就一點也不認真?!   ?/p>

      對此魯迅先生不僅不生氣,還在理發后極隨意地掏出一大把錢給理發師——遠遠超出了應付的錢?!   ?/p>

      理發師大喜,臉上立刻堆滿了笑?!   ?/p>

      過了一段日子,魯迅又來理發,理發師見狀立即拿出全部看家本領,“精雕細刻”地做,滿臉寫著謙恭?!   ?/p>

      不料理畢,魯迅并沒有再顯豪爽,而是掏出錢來一個一個地數給理發師,一個子兒也沒多給?!   ?/p>

      理發師大惑:“先生,今天咋給這點?您上回……”    

      魯迅笑笑:“您上回馬馬虎虎處理,我就馬馬虎虎地給點,這回認認真真地理,我就認認真真地給點。”    

      錢鐘書    

      錢鐘書被學界稱為“二十世紀人類最智慧的頭顱”,在生活中錢鐘書也頗具幽默感。1991年,全國十八家省級電視臺聯合拍攝《中國當代文化名人錄》,要拍錢鐘書,被他婉拒了,別人告訴他被選入者可獲得一大筆錢?!   ?/p>

      他淡談一笑:“我都姓了一輩子‘錢’,還會迷信這東西嗎?”    

      毛姆    

      英國著名小說家毛姆成名之前生活非常貧困。雖然寫了一部很有價值的書稿,但出版后無人問津?!   ?/p>

      為了引起人們的注意,毛姆別出心裁地在各大報刊上登了如下的征婚啟事:“本人喜歡音樂和運動,是個年輕又有教養的百萬富翁。希望能和毛姆小說中的主角完全一樣的女性結婚。”    

      幾天之后,全倫敦的書店,再也買不到毛姆的書了?!   ?/p>

      海明威    

      有位自命不凡的同行向海明威討好:“先生,我早就有心為你寫一本傳記,希望你死了以后,我能獲得為你作傳記的榮幸。”    

      海明威知道他文筆狗屁不通,淡淡一笑:“哦,先生,我知道你想寫我的傳記,所以我就不得不盡量想法子活下去。”

      Tags: 經典語錄

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